The Art of Presence: Showing Up to Lead

Executive Presence Is Not About Looking the Part. It Is About Leading With Intention.

For decades, women have been told that if they work hard enough, results will speak for themselves.

Many of us believed it.

For South Asian women, especially, this belief runs deep. We were raised to value humility over visibility, preparation over promotion, and excellence over recognition. We learned to keep our heads down, respect authority, avoid taking up too much space, and trust that our work would eventually be noticed.

Those values are deeply rooted in our culture, reinforced by our families, and rewarded throughout much of our education.

Then we enter corporate leadership.

Suddenly, the rules change.

Leadership is no longer evaluated on competence alone. It is shaped by perception. Before we speak, people have already formed opinions about whether we belong in the room, whether we inspire confidence, and whether we are ready for greater responsibility.

This was the central idea explored in Neythri's recent conversation, The Art of Presence: Showing Up to Lead, featuring Aparna Bawa, EVP and Chief Legal & People Officer at Intel, in conversation with Ayesha Mathews-Wadhwa. What unfolded was not a discussion about fashion or personal branding. It was a thoughtful examination of one of leadership's least understood capabilities: executive presence.

Presence is an exercise in intentionality

Executive presence is often dismissed as polish, charisma, or appearance.

That definition is far too narrow.

As Ayesha framed it, presence is the collection of visual, verbal, emotional, and behavioral signals we send before anyone evaluates our expertise. How we enter a room. How we listen. How we participate. Whether we appear prepared. Whether others feel respected in our presence.

These signals shape trust.

Trust shapes influence.

Influence shapes leadership.

Seen this way, executive presence is not cosmetic. It is strategic.

The reality many women know but rarely discuss

One of the most compelling moments of the conversation came when Aparna described returning to work after having her first child.

Exhausted, overwhelmed, and simply trying to get through each day, she met with an executive coach who challenged not her intelligence or capability, but how she was presenting herself to the world.

At first, the advice felt frustratingly superficial.

Over time, however, Aparna recognized something deeper.

The issue was never makeup or clothing.

It was whether her external presentation unintentionally communicated exhaustion, disengagement, or diminished confidence before anyone had the opportunity to experience her expertise.

Her reflection captured a tension many women experience throughout their careers:

"I want the world to change. But while I wait for it to change, I also have to succeed in the world that exists today."

That is not surrender.

It is pragmatism.

The hidden tax of cultural conditioning

This conversation carries particular significance for South Asian women.

Many of us are first-generation corporate leaders navigating systems our parents never experienced.

We inherit values that serve us well in life but can become limiting in leadership.

We are taught that confidence should never become arrogance.

That speaking less demonstrates wisdom.

That humility earns respect.

That drawing attention to ourselves is somehow unbecoming.

Ironically, modern organizations often reward precisely the opposite behaviors.

Leadership increasingly depends on visibility, narrative, influence, and executive communication. Promotions are rarely awarded based solely on technical excellence. They are awarded based on the confidence that others have in your ability to lead larger, more ambiguous challenges.

The challenge is rarely capability. More often, it is visibility. Many South Asian women are not underperforming. They are simply under-signaling their readiness to lead.

Executive presence is about outcomes, not image

Perhaps the most important idea from the discussion was Aparna's suggestion that we stop asking, "What should I wear?"

Instead, ask:

What outcome am I trying to create?

Do you need to establish credibility? 

Build trust?

Diffuse tension?

Challenge assumptions?

Inspire confidence?

The most effective leaders understand that presence is contextual. They adapt without abandoning authenticity.

This is not manipulation.

It is a leadership judgment.

Authenticity and adaptation are not opposites

There is a persistent misconception that adapting ourselves for different audiences somehow makes us less authentic.

Yet we naturally communicate differently with our children than with our CEO.

We negotiate differently than we mentor.

We present differently than we brainstorm.

Context has always shaped communication.

Executive presence simply asks us to become intentional about those choices.

Authenticity is remaining grounded in your values.

Presence is deciding how those values are most effectively expressed in a given moment.

The two reinforce each other.

Presence Is Measured by the Experience You Create

One of the discussion's strongest reminders was that presence is relational.

People rarely remember every word a leader says.

They remember how that leader made them feel.

Did they feel heard?

Did they feel respected?

Did they leave the interaction feeling more confident or smaller than when they entered?

Leadership presence is built as much through generosity as authority.

This may be where South Asian women already possess a quiet advantage.

Many of us naturally lead through empathy, collaboration, and relationship building. These qualities are increasingly recognized as leadership strengths rather than soft skills.

The opportunity is not to replace them with confidence.

It is to pair warmth with conviction.

Perhaps we need to redefine executive presence

For years, executive presence has been treated as something leaders acquire through better clothing, stronger handshakes, or public speaking classes.

That definition misses the point.

Presence is how preparation becomes visible.

It is how confidence becomes believable.

It is how expertise becomes trusted.

It is how leadership becomes memorable.

As organizations continue to debate representation and inclusion, conversations like this remind us that leadership is not simply about earning a seat at the table.

It is about ensuring that, once seated, our ideas carry the weight they deserve.

Executive presence is not about becoming someone else. It is about ensuring that the leader you already are is the leader others are able to see.

For many South Asian women, that may require unlearning decades of cultural conditioning that taught us to equate visibility with ego or confidence with arrogance. Communicating our value with clarity is not self-promotion. It is one of the responsibilities of leadership.

As Aparna reminded us throughout the conversation, presence is not a performance. It is an intentional practice, reflected in how we prepare, communicate, carry ourselves, and make others feel.

The art of presence is not about occupying more space. It is about occupying the right space, with purpose, confidence, and authenticity. Because when our presence reflects our capability, our leadership becomes impossible to ignore.

Author Bio Deepali Paul is the Program Director at Neythri.org, where she leads the design and execution of high-impact leadership programs for senior South Asian women. She is deeply passionate about building and scaling purpose-driven communities that unlock access, opportunity, and influence at the highest levels of leadership.